Right Direction

The ligament (think I had it wrong as "tendon" before) distraction might be helping! It's hard to tell, because 9 days ago I got the flu and pneumonia, so I don't move a lot and that could be why the pain is down. BUT, I'm taking 2 oxycontin a day and 0 oxycodone, compared to 3 and 2, so I am counting that as progress. I am, I am, I am!

Grrr 2

Just...fuck. Ow, and fuck.

I don't feel like I have anything to give anyone. I will anyway, and this will pass, but right now: FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK.

Grrr

Had Distraction Technique for fourth time yesterday. Husband was with and was lovely. It helps a great deal to have him touching my face or holding my hand through this godawful procedure. Didn't cry third time, did yesterday. Might have been more painful, or might have been that I took 3 ativan instead of 4 yesterday. Good news is that there have been no pain spikes since yesterday, and there weren't any for three days after Time #3. Bad news is baseline pain is very high today. Plus I've caught some virus. I notice I do not do well with "other" pain or discomfort - increasingly so as the pudendal pain lingers into its third year. I feel like whining and bitching. I want to go home, snuggle up under a fuzzy warm blanket and whimper/cry until I fall asleep. And no dreams about dying cats or secret grandfather's rooms or any spooky bullshit like that, either!

Angry, much?