Pain is awful. Stress related to it is sometimes worse. Sometimes I manage the pain well...other times it (and its relentless persistence - wait, is that redundant?) makes me so angry I am just a bitch. I have a therapist - I am a therapist - and I just can't make this be different. I often can do better than I am right now, but sometimes I just can't hold it together. I wish it didn't hurt my family. I wish I didn't hurt my family with it. I feel like shit.